1. Research,
research, research. Because you want to help your friend overcome his fear of
airplanes, your first urge will be to spout off statistics and other legitimate
research to support why his phobia isn’t based in reality. You will quickly
learn that this approach is futile since he already knows all of the
statistics, and is well versed on the topic of airplanes. Your friend is convinced
that he could easily become a part of the rare statistic, just as the others.
He will start to quiz you: “How do you know my plane won’t crash? Are you
psychic or something? Did your statistics save Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens,
Amelia Earhart, etc…? No, I didn’t think so...” Do some research and learn what
the word “phobia” means.
2. Now that you’ve
done your research and understand what a phobia actually is, refrain from
suggesting that your friend visit an airport to watch the planes take off and
land as many times as it takes to conquer his fear. Your backyard remedies
won’t “cure” his phobia. Instead, your friend will attempt to change the topic
as to avoid the embarrassment of needing to breathe into a brown paper bag.
Unless your goal is to create situations that call for crisis intervention,
please leave the counseling and advice to the professionals. If you are a
professional counselor, try to remember your immediate role should be that of a
supportive friend unless he specifically asks for your insights.
3. If your house
shakes when planes fly over, or if you can see the plane's shadow graze your
house as it converges to meet the runway, don’t ask your plane phobic friend to
give you a ride home. Don’t ask her over for tea, or to your birthday party.
Trust me when I tell you, it’s not about you; she really does like you. Rather,
the threat of a plane nose-diving into your house while she innocently sips her
tea is what keeps your place from being on her list of places to chill.
4. Before you ask
your friend to give you a ride to or from the airport, consider an alternative
plan. If you ask for that ride despite her fear, and she obliges, be prepared
for blood-curdling screams and other quirky reactions every time she spots a
plane ascending or descending from the sky. But, calm down; it’ll be okay. Her
screams, the pounding on her steering wheel, the orders barked out at the
looming aircraft, all of these things are skilled techniques that she’s learned
throughout the years in order to keep herself from ramming her car into any
unsuspecting vehicles in her path and/or the nearest ditch. If you find
yourself sweating profusely and praying to a higher power, you have no one to
blame but yourself. After all, you knew she had a plane phobia; yet to save a
few dollars, you chose to ask for that ride. I’m guessing the $30 airport
shuttle, or the pricier long-term parking is starting to look like a great deal
about now.
5. Refrain from
showing your friend pictures of, or inviting your friend to see a movie that
involves airplanes. The sight of one on a theater screen, even a Disney
production, automatically turns the movie about falling in love into a horror
film. In movies where a plane is the focal point and/or actually crashes, you
can expect your friend to develop short-term facial tics and weeks of bad
dreams.
6. When walking
through the parking lot of the local restaurant, bar, or grocery store located
near the runway of a small private plane airport, warn him if you see a plane
headed in your direction. Small planes are like cute little flying cars...
nothing to be afraid of, right? Wrong. When your friend becomes startled by
said flying object, he will likely run for cover and dive under the nearest
parked car. If this happens, check the sky for further threats, and alert him
when all is clear.
7. When traveling,
avoid making reservations at a campground or hotel located near an airport.
Unless, of course, you don’t mind staying up all night while your friend jumps
at every little noise, announces every plane that happens to fly overhead, and
obsessively shares all of the gory details from news articles that he’s read
about airplane crashes. And just when you think he’s fallen asleep, a plane
will fly over and trigger his night terrors.
8. Offer to drive if
there’s even the slightest chance that your route will take you near an airport.
If one sneaks up while she's driving, ask her to pull over so that you can take
the wheel (see #4 for reasons why this might be a good plan). Once she has
pulled over, check the airspace thoroughly for airplanes. Otherwise, when she
gets out of the car, don’t be surprised if she suddenly disappears. Your
logical mind will make the assumption that she's been hit by the semi that just
passed by. But, no... Your first error was thinking logically. Secondly, you
didn’t check the sky to see that just as she was exiting the car, a very large
plane with its landing gear fully deployed happened to be directly above the
car. In that terrifying moment, her natural instincts kicked in and she threw
herself to the ground, rolled in close to the car, and did an army crawl over
to the passenger side. Finally, it dawns on you that the loud roaring sound
couldn't have been from the semi, but from that of a Boeing 747... At which point, you remember "who" you're with and the world starts to make sense again. To avoid these scenes, offer to drive no matter
where you’re headed.
